Caring for someone can be rewarding but it can also be very tiring, putting a lot of demands on your physical and emotional energy. When you are simply coping day to day and responding to the needs of others, it’s easy to forget your own health needs.
It’s vital that you take time to look after yourself as well as the person you care for – not just so you can carry on caring, but so you have the energy to keep doing the things you enjoy.
Don’t feel like you need to do everything yourself. If you have relatives who live nearby, try to be honest with them if you need help or want to share the caring responsibility.
The Carers’ Support Service is your local Carers Centre. We can support you in a number of ways, completely free.
You’re entitled to a Carer’s Assessment too. They are provided in North Lincolnshire by the Carer Team, and in North East Lincolnshire by Focus. Carer Assessments can help identify support available for you to help you in your caring role. You can find out more on the Carers’ Assessment page of our website
You do not need to have any form of assessment to access support from the Carers’ Support Service. You can register with us via our website, and we will give you a call: Register in North Lincolnshire. Register in North East Lincolnshire
If your GP (General Practitioner) knows that you are a carer, they can provide you with really useful support, advice and information. For example, they can refer you to local support networks in your area or help you understand what you’re entitled to as a carer – such as a free flu jab
It’s important to tell them about your caring responsibilities so that they can offer support. You may find it helpful to use this letter template to help register your role.
Why should I let my GP know?
Caring can take its toll on your health and so it’s helpful for your GP to know about any extra pressures you are facing that might have an impact on your physical health or emotional wellbeing.
Your GP can also let you know about available support or services in your area. They may be able to recommend or refer you to suitable specialists including occupational therapists, physiotherapists, continence advisers and dieticians or other more general sources of support your primary care team can offer.
What should I tell my GP?
Tell your GP that you have caring responsibilities as soon as possible. They can then record this on your medical records.
If they know you are a Carer and likely to be under pressure at times, they will be able to offer more tailored advice and, if necessary, provide more support if you need diagnoses and treatments in the future.
GPs in England are being urged to adopt new measures dedicated to ensuring young carers are offered flu vaccinations, regular health check ups and mental health screening routinely. We hope this initiative will also be extended more widely in the UK and to adult carers.
What kind of help could my GP provide?
You could ask your GP or local practice about:
Making arrangements on behalf of the person you care for
At many GP practices, there are consent forms that you will need to complete in order to show that you have permission from the person(s) you care for to arrange appointments and talk to health professionals on their behalf.
Ask for a form at your GP’s reception. It will need to be completed by the person(s) you care for.
Ideally, you would complete this while the person(s) you care for is with you at your GP practice.
Further tips
Although it can be difficult, try to make sure that you eat a healthy diet. If you’re struggling to eat enough, try eating something that you fancy – it’s better to eat something, rather than nothing.
Staying active and getting enough sleep are also important parts of staying healthy and well – they help your mind as well as your body.
At the Carers’ Support Service our number one piece of advice is to talk to someone. A friend, a family member, or one of our Carer Coaches. We even have Counsellors available if you need a little bit more support.
Marie Curie’s Expert Voice Group put together 10 ways to care for yourself when you are a Carer. Their advice is universal, even though it was put together with Carers of people with a terminal illness in mind. Visit their website and see below for a quick overview.
Trust yourself and know it is OK to cry
“Tears are not a weakness. We’re human, and we feel the way we do because of love.”
“And trust your instinct. You know the person you’re caring for probably better than anyone else in the world. If something isn’t right, or you have a feeling of what will benefit them, go with it. You’re probably right”. Kim
Lots of laughter can help
“My wife Edith had motor neurone disease and lost her voice. She had this speech app on her iPad that had different voices and we used to laugh about that. Strangely enough, we did laugh a lot. It helped to keep all our spirits high.” Bill
Be honest about your own needs
“Don’t make out to health professionals that you’re coping when you’re not. I’m always cheery no matter what. Outwardly, I looked like I was coping but inside I was a mess. My sense of humour got me through but sadly I didn’t get the help I needed.” Nicky
Keep your batteries charged
“In the beginning, my biggest mistake was not accepting help, and I tried to do far too much. So, take time for yourself, even if it’s just lunch with friends or a walk in the park.” Susan
Keep family and friends informed
“One of the things I did that I would wholeheartedly recommend, was that I kept family and friends updated with regular group emails. From their point of view this meant that everyone got the same story at the same time, which reduced speculation and well-meaning gossip.
“From my point of view, it meant that I didn’t have the stress of having to keep repeating myself, nor of wasting time better spent with Mike.” Hilary
Say yes to help
“Your emotions [can be] all over the place, and you’re worried and stressed. The person you’re caring for may refuse help but you have to think about yourself and say ‘yes’ to help.
“Be clear to the person you’re caring for and explain why accepting help is vital. My other advice is to listen to the professionals – don’t think you can do it all yourself because it will take its toll …” Sian
Accept the kindness of others
“Listen to those who can see objectively how you’re coping – for example, my children were able to see and tell me when I needed more help with their dad.
“Find someone to talk to about things that distress you so they don’t build up. The more you can feel reassured that you’re doing everything you can, the less likely it is that feelings of regret will trouble you later.” Kathy
Look for guidance
“Get advice from your GP and nurses, and make use of resources and information you can find online.
“Find out as much as you can about the physical and practical side of caring, such as medical and dietary needs, the right bedding, personal care items and know-how. Ask other carers for their guidance on how they cope.” Shital
You have to be well (enough) to be a Carer
“The most important lesson I learned as a carer was that the situation can get much worse if I become unwell.
“Get friends or family to do a rota of visits so you have some time for yourself. Let them know how much you need that break and how important it is for you and for the person you care for.” Rosere
Don’t be too hard on yourself
“Learn to accept you’ll have days when you feel like you can cope and others when you question every decision. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to take some time out, even a five-minute one.” Red
Little moments can make a big difference
Doing something enjoyable or relaxing can be very helpful when you have a caring responsibility.
If you’re able to, make time for something like an exercise group or an evening class. Taking part in an activity you enjoy will give you the opportunity to do something for yourself – it’s important that you have your own interests and make time to pursue them where you can.
The Carers’ Support Service can connect you with local opportunities. We also have a page on our website that contains information about activities you can do at home.
But even if you don’t have the time for an activity or class, simply taking ten minutes whenever you can to have a cup of tea or get some fresh air can really help.
Don’t underestimate the power of taking 10 minutes out. You can’t run on empty. You need time to re-charge.
Carers’ Support Service is here to make sure unpaid carers are seen, supported and never left to struggle alone.
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