It is an unfortunate reality that Carers are seven times more likely than the general population to say they are always or often lonely. But help is available to support your emotional and social wellbeing.
Staying connected with friends, family and your community can be one of the most difficult things to do when your time is taken up by looking after someone.
Many Carers find that the connections they have over time disappear, either because they don’t have the time or ability to socialise, or because friends and family simply don’t understand the demands or nature of their caring role.
Maintaining or creating new connections is one of the most important things we can do for our own health and wellbeing.
Now that I’m a Carer, my friends have drifted away
Many people find that caring can take over your life and that friends can gradually slip off the radar. The reasons for this can be varied and complicated.
It may help to identify why you’ve lost contact and then look for positive ways to reconnect. Sometimes it’s hard to reconnect over existing difficult circumstances, so look for common ground such as shared interests from past experience.
Even if you are unable to meet in person, there are many ways to strike up the friendship again. It is possible to contact them online via social media or email, or by letter or phone. Sharing photos can be a lovely way to break the ice and can gradually rebuild friendships and relationships.
If you want to explore using technology to connect, the Carers’ Support Service offers free computer tuition to give you the skills you need. If you care for someone who lives in North Lincolnshire call 01652 650585. If you care for someone living in North East Lincolnshire call 01472 242277.
I’ve become isolated and have no family or friends to turn to
It is very common to feel adrift from others. Sometimes family members are not fully aware of how you feel cut off and what you’re going through. It might be helpful to gently remind them how much you would value their support or company from time to time.
Letting them know how much you miss them could be a nice way of opening the conversation. Also see ‘I feel isolated; friends have disappeared’ in the Carers UK relationships section
Many Carers tell us that having someone pop in for half an hour for a cuppa and a chat a couple of times a week makes a real difference.
The Carers’ Support Service provides a befriending service. A befriender is someone in whom you can confide, knowing that you will not be judged or criticised and that your feelings and opinions are important. More information about Befriending can be found here.
Caring is putting a strain on my relationships
The family dynamic can be challenging. It is normal to feel upset or frustrated when you feel left to manage alone, or when opinions differ within the household.
If these feelings are building up, it is important to reach out for support. Talking to someone you trust can help you feel less isolated and give you a fresh perspective.
Additionally, practical strategies can help improve relationships:
Furthermore, writing down your feelings in a journal or notes can help you express yourself clearly during conversations.
For more guidance, see “Other family members don’t understand how much I’m doing” on the Carers UK Relationships page. It provides advice on communicating effectively and finding extra support.
Meeting like-minded people
It’s also common to feel like you have lost your identity when you have been immersed in a caring role, especially over many years.
It might be helpful to list all the interests you enjoy, such as reading or writing, and see if you could join an online course or group to give yourself a break from your caring responsibilities, as well as a chance to know yourself again and meet others.
Carers UK run regular online Share and Learn sessions which provide a safe space to try out new activities from the comfort of your own home. They are free and range from dance and yoga to poetry and handicrafts, each led by a qualified instructor or facilitator.
To connect with other carers, many people find the Carers UK forum helpful as it can provide a source of support from people who know what you’re going through, as well as good ideas and recommendations if you have a query, concern or question. Some carers will also often know which pitfalls to avoid when you’re approaching a new situation. You can post on the forum as soon as you’ve signed up for Carers UK membership which is free.
Another way to meet other carers, is through local groups that are run by the Carers’ Support Service. We have a range of groups depending on where the person you care for lives.
Click here for groups for Carers caring for someone in North Lincolnshire
Click here for groups for Carers caring for someone in North East Lincolnshire
More opportunities are available to meet other Carers and are advertised in our latest Caring Times newsletter which you can find on our home page.
Opening up
If you’re going through a tough time, turn to kind and supportive people who will be there to help you through it. If none of your friends or family members are particularly good listeners or empathetic, turn to the Carers Support Service
At Carers UK, they have trained Care Listening Volunteers who are here to offer emotional support through their Listening Support Service. Condition specific charities will also have helplines where you can talk to someone or offer services that can help you pair up with others to gain support and friendship.
Useful resources and contacts
Crossroads Together Carers Pen pal Scheme – write a letter or email to someone who understands first hand what you are going through.
Carers UK online meet up groups – Carers UK offer a range of online meetups for carers to connect, share experiences and enjoy relaxing activities
The Carers’ Support Service – We have groups across North and North East Lincolnshire. See the link to go to the calendar.
Live Well – North Lincolnshire – Find groups and other support and activities
Simply Connect – North East Lincolnshire – Find a group in North East Lincs
OnePlusOne – provides resources and services to help families and professionals tackle relationship issues early. It has a range of resources including information on getting help and support if you have a disabled child.
Relate – provides relationship help for all sorts of people in all sorts of situations. It can support you whether you’re in a new relationship, in a long-term relationship, or not in a relationship at all. It can help you through major relationship crises to smaller issues that are perhaps making you unhappy.
Tavistock Relationships – supports couples, individuals and families with their relationships including relationship support for parents of children with disability.
Carers UK offer guidance and tips on how to develop closer ties and suggest ways to get further support through forming new friendships.
First, start by thinking about who you miss speaking with the most. Then, reach out with a quick message, a simple card, or by calling them.
Short, regular calls are often easier than long ones. Try arranging a ten-minute chat rather than waiting for hours together.
Technology can make staying in touch feel less daunting. You can use WhatsApp, Facetime or Zoom to share updates via messages or via video calls. Sharing photos through messaging apps is a gentle way to start conversations again. These small touches show you care without pressure. If you want support with this, see our Digital Support page where we can support you via a bookable 1-to-1 appointment with your computer, smart phone or tablet queries. Also, sharing photos through messaging apps is a gentle way to start conversations again. These small touches show you care without pressure.
Furthermore, setting reminders in your phone or calendar can help you stay connected. Sometimes time flies away from us and passes without us registering it. You might find regular contact feels less like a big task and more like a routine and can ensure that you don’t lose touch with others.
If you prefer writing, then letters and emails are another way to reach out. A short note or card can brighten someone’s day.
Finally, you might want to explore local spaces where you and your loved ones can meet. For instance, you could check community listings on NEL Community Spotlight or see local activities on Live Well North Lincolnshire. Spending time with a friend can be a two-in-one task. You could exercise together, or go food shopping.
First, think about what you enjoy most—perhaps walking, reading, or joining a local craft session. Then, search for local activities on NEL Community Spotlight or Live Well North Lincolnshire. Both websites highlight clubs, social groups, and workshops in your area. These activities can be a gentle way to meet others with a shared interest.
Meanwhile, village halls, communities and community hubs often host coffee mornings, fitness groups, and local events where anyone of any age are welcome, including Carers. For example in Barton-upon-Humber there is the Living Later Life Well Project
Also, consider looking into faith. Church communities and multi-faith venues can provide regular social gatherings, coffee mornings, choir groups, and drop-in sessions that help you feel included.
The Carers Support Service provides Carer Peer Support Groups and activities so you can meet other carers. See our Carers Groups and Activities page or the latest edition of The Caring Times for events, training and groups.
Staying connected can feel difficult when caring responsibilities keep you at home. Yet digital tools can make contact easier and more flexible.
Small digital touches, like sharing a photo or message, can help maintain connection without pressure. Platforms like Zoom, WhatsApp, or Facetime let you see loved ones instantly and once learnt are easy to use.
Online groups are another way to connect. For example, many peer groups and hobby clubs now run digital sessions. You can search Eventbrite for local online events and workshops in North and North East Lincolnshire.
Social media can also help. Facebook community pages often share coffee mornings, support groups, and activity updates across local villages and towns.
Meanwhile, shared apps like Jointly from Carers UK make it easier for families to coordinate caring and keep in touch.
If you want help using these tools, our Digital Support page offers simple guidance and friendly advice.
Local resources can also point you to digital opportunities. ConnectNEL lists local groups, while Live Well North Lincolnshire shares both online and community events.
Trying one tool at a time often feels less overwhelming. Over time, these digital connections can make you feel more supported and less isolated.
Caring can sometimes feel lonely, and talking to someone who understands can make a real difference. If feelings of isolation lead to anxiety or low mood, seek support from a professional. Emotional support helps you feel heard, valued, and less isolated.
Counselling offers a safe space to share worries without judgment. Speaking openly often helps reduce stress and clear your thoughts. The Carers Support Service offers free counselling sessions. More information can be found here, or by calling either 01652 650585 or 01472 242277. You can also visit your GP to access counselling services.
Volunteer befriending services are another option. They provide regular chats, either in person or by phone, to brighten your week.
If you have free time and want to give back.
(All training is given and arranged out-of-pocket expenses covered) More information can be found here
Also, Friendship at Home in Cleethorpes supports older people with phone calls and social contact. These services are often free and flexible. More information on Friendship at Home can be found here, or by calling TEL: 01472 602500
The Silver Line from Age UK offers 24-hour friendship and listening over the phone. Even a short call can lift your spirits. Visit Age UK, or Call 0800 470 8090
Meanwhile, some carers prefer peer groups. Speaking with other carers who understand the pressures can be comforting and reassuring. If you would like to know more about local support, see our Carers Groups and our Activities/what’s on page. Meeting others in similar situations may ease your feelings of isolation and show you that you are not alone.
You can also explore local listings on ConnectNEL and Live Well North Lincolnshire. Both share details of groups and befriending services across the county.
Pen pal groups can be a gentle way to stay connected, especially if leaving home is difficult. Writing letters allows you to share stories, memories, and encouragement at your own pace.
Some national projects encourage pen pal matching between different generations or communities. These schemes aim to reduce loneliness and create friendships across distance.
Crossroads-style pen pal initiatives often focus on carers and older people. They help build supportive friendships through regular letters or emails. Even a short note can brighten someone’s week. More information about Cross Roads can be found here
Locally, ConnectNEL and Live Well North Lincolnshire sometimes share opportunities for befriending or pen pal-style schemes. Checking these directories regularly may reveal new projects in your area.
Church groups, village halls, and community hubs may also organise pen pal or letter-exchange clubs. These are often linked to coffee mornings or friendship groups.
If you are interested in staying connected with other carers, see our Carers Groups and Activities. Sharing experiences with others who understand can feel just as reassuring as writing letters.
Starting small is enough. One letter or message at a time can lead to a lasting friendship.
The gym is also known to create connections as well as being positive for your physical and mental health. There usually are some concessions available. Perhaps weigh lighting or pounding the treadmill isn’t your thing, but there many facilitated classes available including yoga, walking football and recumbent equipment sessions. More information can be found here: North Lincs – NL Active and here NE Lincs – Lincs Inspire
Additionally, the University of the Third Age (U3A) offers learning, friendship, and hobby groups across North and North East Lincolnshire for older adults who are looking for mental stimulation.
Men in sheds provides companionship, community and hands-on hobbies for people in the local area such as woodworking in a safe and welcoming space. These are popping up all over the county. Click here to find a shed.
The Women’s Institute (WI) is the largest women’s organisation in the UK and pride themselves on being a trusted place for all women of all generations, to share experiences and learn from each other.
Finding moments for yourself can feel difficult, but building social time into your week is possible.
First, look for times when you feel less busy or more relaxed. Even short breaks can make a difference.
Then, explore local informal meet-ups. ConnectNEL lists warm spaces and community groups you might enjoy visiting.
Next, think about joining Centre4’s community hub. It offers social clubs, craft sessions, and a welcoming community café.
Also, the Alzheimer’s Society runs memory cafés and programmes that reduce isolation for carers of people with dementia.
Meanwhile, Navigo supports carers of people with mental health needs, including links to peer support groups.
Additionally, you can request a Carer’s Assessment from Focus. This helps uncover social, practical, and emotional support options tailored to your situation. Live Well North Lincolnshire and ConnectNEL both share listings for carers’ activities across the county.
If you prefer something simple, try arranging a short walk or a coffee with a neighbour. Interest-based groups, such as local clubs or classes, can also offer gentle ways to connect.
Finally, remember that social time doesn’t need to be big or complicated. Combining small steps with local services can help you build a social routine at your own pace.
Carers’ Support Service is here to make sure unpaid carers are seen, supported and never left to struggle alone.
Registered Charity Number: 1070028
Company Limited by Guarantee.
Registration number: 3540988
Staff Documents
Staff Document store
